Bloggers

Just to make things clear, I write not because I nak jadi famous ke apa, its my blog, its my personal public diary and its the only place where I can pour out and write endless emotional rants and whatnots. Ramai yang tanya, you ada blog tak, and I always jawab takde, tapi personal public diary adalah. Kadang-kadang rasa malu jugak bila melihatkan most of my posts are about me, me me me overload, but what to do, dah namanya personal public diary, memang haruslah setiap post dipenuhi dengan perihal tuan empunya diri, ye dok?

Anyhoo, blogger has changed its dashboard again, is getting new look katanya, and I hated it padahal baru je nengok tak sampai 1 minit. Like what I always do, I will change them back, cuma not yet sebab so malas nak betulkan balik whats changed...biarlah, later I check balik what's wrong and revert them back into the old style one, because I am far more comfortable with the old dashboard one. And who knows, I will be okay with this new look. Nantilah.

Sedang I was wondering why I haven't read load of posts from few blogs that I followed recently, I misclicked on something and my blog's statistics showed up, hence its inspired me to write with that kind of intro haha. It was so sudden, I dont know what I clicked, tapi I was quite taken aback to learn that the highest keyword people visit this blog is because of;

1) Tahi Ayam (Either its Bunga tahi Ayam or the peribahasa one, which can be seen with this post)

2) Renungan Hari Jumaat (which I think I posted that one randomly on Friday), and 

3) Suhu Musim Sejuk (which I always ramble about, since I am living in the coldest region on Earth)

Like seriously, I didn't expect ramai jugak yang mencari pasal Bunga Tahi Ayam, and so sorry if what I wrote there in that post is not "bunga" or "peribahasa"-related, more to my rants really, but you can ask me in the comments section if nak tahu more about them, insyaAllah I can help.

And omg so malu bila baca my old posts back. I didn't know I sounded so...gedik and mengada-ngada back then. Not to mention they were so berbelit-belit too, no wonder my friends always said reading my posts always made they laugh..because its so me...which means I am so gedik? Ahh? Anway thats a good thing lah isn't it when people laugh reading your post, right? 

Anyway moving on to the main topic there, sometimes its very true yang its soo good to be recognised by lots of people. Nak jugak rasa macammana perasaan orang tegur sana-sini, buat photoshoot sana sini tanpa segan silu dan masuk tv ngoh ngoh ngoh aku dah mula perasan. Tapi yang tak sukanya, to be heard and recognised by entire population (ayat hiperbola habis) you need to work your ass off so very bad, and you know lah me, so pemalas, takde masa lah nak habiskan masa berjam-jam promo blog sana-sini nak suruh diri femes. Dahlah tu aku ni pemalu orangnya, kena tegur ada blog seket dah blush so hard, yelah blog penuh dengan entries merapu sape tak malu kan?

So konklusinya aku malas malas malas, dan sekali lagi nak diingatkan ini blog yang penuh dengan stupid posts oleh aku, memang tak mungkin akan ke mana-mana, so let it be that way....im far more comfortable lyk this...

Finally to end this post, because I really loove to be such a weatherman, and memang tak sah if i did not report about the weather here...spring has finally arrived in Moscow, and that means...THE WINTER IS FINALLY FREAKIN' OVER! Yayyy! No more thick outerwear, no more muddy snow, no more kesejukan, and no more glooominess. 

And what I love the most when winter ends, its time for colours.

p/s - oh rupanya they all made the blogs personal. Selalu sangat macam tu, I am such a bad luck for all the public followerss..it's like whenever I followed this one great blog, so sudden the blog becomes personal. And I am pulak such a pemalu person, nak mintak suruh jadi invited reader, memang I malulah nak kasi emel. Nanti-nantilah.

Me In Giving Advices

I'm a good listener, but for being a good advisor, hell to the no I am not.

Buuuuut sometimes I'm not a good listener too, and it's either I am not in a good mood, I'm having such a moody roughy bad day, or maybe just because I just cant hold on anymore to hear repeated things for so many times when it's so obvious that the answer for the problem is so freaking obvious. 

Tapi you know, the main reason why I don't really like giving my two cents in the conversation is because I mostly say the truth, and people hates to know the truth. They will easily be mad and marah me for being so entah apa-apa, padahal I am just trying to help. Tapi memang betullah my bad, dah orang tu tengah sedih-sedih and need a crying shoulder so bad, aku pulak bagi nasihat yang makin menambahkan kesedihan tu, mana tak marah. Memang patut pun kena cepuk.

Anyhoo just to make things clear, I want the whole world to know how my mind works when i am in this kind of situation, which means its when i am facing some sort of problem yang menyakitkan jiwa. When I have problems, I seek the fault on myself first before starting to find others to blame. Tak kisahlah semarah mana pun I am, I will sehabis mungkin cari di mana silap diri ni dulu, the fault is on me, tak kisahlah se-immature and se-unlogical mana pun the situation was, I was (and am) trained to find the fault on myself dulu.

So bila some people have problems, I usually said its your fault lah for being this bla bla bla bla, kenapa you tak jadi like more bla bla bla, yada yada yada. I will straight kasi tahu yang salah itu datangnya dari diri dia dan bukannya dengan orang yang dia persalahkan tu, sebab memang aku macam itu. I just don't like blaming people when my ideology of thinking is CARI SALAH DIRI DULU. Lagipun I dont particularly like being at one side badmouthing on the others when I only heard it from one-sided party, its a bit unfair, kan?

Lagipun bukan ke orang yang mengalah dulu tu lagi baik? 

Tak kisahlah if the person we terasa hati tu perangai dia tersangatlah menyakitkan hati, the problem is us, us and us, cari silap diri dulu and perbetulkan diri first, then bila tak tahan then barulah I blame on the others sebab we already tried kan? Thats what I do bila aku dalam situasi macam itu. Pernah juga rasa sakit hati yang sangat-sangat tu this particular person bila gaduh-gaduh dan tak bercakap banyak hari, sebab geram, tapi once geram tu reda, its always me yang firstly mintak maaf.

So that's why some people tak suka when I give them some advices, I am just sooo negative they said, but hey, now that I have explained this to you, I hope later you understand how my mind works if I were in that kind of position, my ideology memang macam tu. Kalau you tak suka then sorry to say please carilah orang lain that you can gang-up to support you, whom is definitely not me. And my ideology implies to all who ask me for help when they are in trouble, takde masa lah nak bagi prioriti kat sape-sape.

Tapi bila I have nothing to say, (which is so rare lol), I stay silent. So kalau taknak tahu kebenaran then  don't lah ask me for advices hohoh. And one more thing, its very true, kadang-kadang I solve my own problems in logical thinking with my feelings excluded sebab you know, sampai bila nak sakit hati memanjang and let our feeling clouded our relationship? Like I said before, try to be much more understanding.

Nevertheless, no matter how bitchy my advices were, in the end pleaselah percaya yang I said that to help you, like for realzz.

Peace yo :)

Hati

Pesan Imam Ghazali,

Carilah hatimu di tiga tempat...temui hatimu sewaktu bangun membaca al-quran. Tetapi jika tidak kau temui, carilah hatimu ketika mengerjakan solat. Jika tidak kau temui juga, kau carilah hatimu ketika duduk tafakkur mengingati mati. Jika kau tidak temui juga, maka berdoalah kepada Allah, pinta hati yang baru kerana hakikatnya pada ketika itu kau tidak mempunyai hati...

Hati dahh hilang, tak tahu mana perginya, jum cari mana hilangnya hati tu jom!