Beku

There is too much to handle right now. With multiple inside problems and lots of ridiculous pressure outside, not to mention how much insufficient time has been for me to catch up with studies, I am exhauuuuusted.

There are tonnes of dramas here and there lately, and it's not really a good feeling when drama is lingering around and it's about those who you know very well, you will be stucked in the most uncomfortable place of all, which is right in the middle where people is talking behind and giving opinions on that matter while you pulak if tak join sekaki memang tak sah sebab it is soo irresistible thing to do.

Just admit it, people loves to flaunt the fact that they don't do this, they don't do that, but basically they are all lies and lies and lies.

Okay dah termelalut sampai kutuk-kutuk orang pulak malam-malam buta nih.

But seriously the drama dah berlalu dah pun, and I am so proud of myself for being able to not judge people like I used to be. My secret? Each time I heard or witnessed a gossip, drama, or rumour whatsoever I whisper to myself that "ikut suka hati dia nak buat apa, don't burden your otak to fikir masalah orang lain", and so sudden I forget the whole thing . So far it works, and I have never been happier to do what I want to do because I always stick to my principle that if I can talk stuffs behind your back, so do you, and I shouldn't be mad of it, hence came "the ikut suka hati apa korang nak buat" thingy.

But this week, or the weeks before, something wrong happened. I guess I am depressed and stressed out at the same time. Selalu sangat rasa nak marah orang, when people objected what I said I got mad very easily, and I even flipped out too this one day, and not to mention I kept menjawab when people give me advices and whatnots in so bitchy and annoying way.

Well that was certainly not me.

Or was it me, sebab the last time I checked I am the one who's wanting to become "manusia berhati beku". Maybe my heart is becoming beku dah kot afterall.