Silly Mistakes, eh?

Yes I am finally posting, yay to me!

Apparently for me “i am back” didn’t literally mean I am back, right?

It has been awhile since my last post here, and yes I missed my blog, in case you were wondering. My summer holidays was tres magnifique, I am enjoying every bits of it each day, and my Eid celebration was uber awesome, except for the fact that i am taking medicine and it’s sounded like a heavy burden on me since people kept asking about my slightly longer and messy hair (not related) and reminding me how lucky my family to have a doctor-soon-to-be in it and that's add more nervous for me to mess this "luck" up 'cause apparently, I am not that great in doing what i am doing right now.

(Oke i copied and pasted this from berkulat punya drafts)

Well moving on to the next point, my life is okay, considering i am in positive mode this whole week, up until today. Yes, Patho-anatomy hates me. More on that later, maybe tomorrow, or never, we'll see.

Anyhoo, when life’s getting shittier day by days, you start to realize that there is something wrong going on and that’s when you start searching in which point of life you did wrong.

I had one chat conversation via facebook with my dearest friend, complaining and whining (as usual) about how terrible my life was. This happened in earlier September this year, there was something wrong in my chest that time; i had this uncomfortable feeling within me that I felt like yelling to people for unknown reasons. I was mad, and raging, and PMS-ing, and he was just suddenly online. Considering he is one of my best-est friends in the whole world, I just have to do what a friend need to do when he is in need while he listened attentively (at least that what i thought he was doing :P)

Then he told me this.

Dia cakap yang biasanya bila dia rasa hari tu serba tak kena, dia akan try to find kat mana dia ada buat silap. I thought the mistakes that he did is like the on-off simple silly mistakes, like gaduh with friends or tak gerakkan kawan bangun, curi selipar dan sebagainya, tapi rupanya silap yang dia maksudkan tu rupanya silap kita dengan tuhan. Dia bagitau yang biasanya bila dia bangun lewat dan terlepas solat Subuh, hari tu mesti akan ada yang tak kena, yang memang akan merosakkan hari dia, and causing unnecessary uncomfortable stuffs to happen.

Then I felt like ditampar, my world starts spinning and macam flashbacks going on and off through my minds, trying to show me what exactly i did wrong for decades of my life.

Memang betul apa yang dia cakap, kadang-kadang kita lupa yang kita buat dosa ngan Tuhan, tapi kita selalu tak sedar salah kita, dan kita doubt pada Tuhan kenapa dia jadikan hidup kita miserable. We always think that what we did is perfectly enough, but indeed it's not.

Dahlah tak ikhlas, pastu bajet perfect. Pastu maki-maki kenapa nasib kita selalu malang. Patutlah makin serabut hidup.

So based on his advices, I followed what he said and be extra careful on unforgettable, bigger mistakes that involve with my relationship with God, and yes indeed, it is truly is true, I feel so positive after i started doing that. I feel relaxed, except for today of course, but that was because i sinned a little earlier, and Dia punished me.

Yes it is true, positive result.

Speaking of different invisible ways of God trying to reach us and giving the answers, kan?