Amarah

Ive been struggling with myself these past few days, so much happened in one damn time and things had gone very out of control lately. People do mistakes A, people do mistakes.

In hard times ones' true colour showed up like really, it was in that particular moment you'll get the sole chance to realise with whom you're really dealing with, and trust me, in most of the cases the outcomes were not really that pretty.

I knew this as I was one of the ones who cracked out after undergone under such a massive pressure. No matter how hard you have tried to be bersabar, once the limit has been hijacked..there's no way to stop things from getting uglier.

And i'm not proud of it (obviously), as those calmness that I composed over the years of putting my nafsu marah aside gone just like that in one blink of eyes, gosh can you imagine that?

But still, I am not perfect, I am a human and humans do get mad sometimes.

So there's nothing else I can do to fix this thing ASAP except for the dire need of apologizing, and although I know the hurts will heal but the scar remains...at least i'm doing my part first.

So yeah, although things would be like very awkward between us nanti, i have to say that i'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

So much for my happy ending.

That's it.

ps - selalu resah hati lately :(

Senyum

Nak jadi doktor kena selalu senyum. Tak boleh sedih-sedih depan patients, nanti diorang risau.

Ini reaksi awal lepas tengok camano nak buat neurological test kat YouTube, rasa kesian sangat-sangat tengok nasib patients yang kena macam-macam jenis penyakit. Sedihnyaaaa.

Tapi itulah, fikir-fikir balik, doktor yang tengah conduct test tu takdelah pulak buat muka sedih, senyum je memanjang. Yelah, kalau tak nanti lagi sedih lah patients kita tengok muka doktor berubah taim check patients.

So mulai sekarang kena start selalu senyumlah ni, kalau sedih je senyum, tak sedih pun senyum. Kena senyum senyum senyum selalu tak kira occasion.

Lagipun orang kan cakap dont ever reveal your weakness to anybody kan? So simpan lah segala masalah tu di sebalik senyuman, biar orang tak nampak kita ni miserable sangat.

Dan satu lagi, bukan ke nampak lagi hensem kalau senyum selalu, ala-ala lelaki melayu terakhir gitu. Walaupun takde lesung pipit, tapi still menawan heyhey.

Soo, jom praktis senyum jom :)



ps - jenuhnya nak menunggu habis subjek topan ni, tak suka anatomi, susah T_T

Kesenangan Yang Menipu

Allah..

"Dan ketahuilah bahawa sesungguhnya kehidupan dunia itu hanyalah permainan dan suatu yang melalaikan, perhiasan dan bermegah-megah antara kamu serta berbangga-bangga tentang banyaknya harta dan anak...seperti hujan yang menyirami tanam-tanaman dan mengagumkan para petani, kemudian tanaman itu menjadi kering dan kamu melihat warnanya bertukar kuning dan akhirnya hancur...Dan di akhirat nanti ada azab yang keras dan ampunan dari Allah serta keredhaan-Nya...Dan kehidupan dunia ini tidak lain hanyalah kesenangan yang menipu."

al-Hadid, ayat 20 

Mohon agar mata hati ini sentiasa celik ya Allah.

Winter Trip '12 - Part 2 - Poland (ii)

So this is another continuation post of the story here [click], and we were still in Poland, except this time the pictures are from Krakow. The initial plan was to visit the capitals of each country, but exception was made, we just have to visit Krakow since it is nearer to Hungary, which is our next destination after Poland. It'll be such a waste if we just travel straight from Warsaw to Hungary as it'll be in the same route. So sebab akan lalu jalan yang sama untuk ke Hungary, we all terpaksalah singgah di Krakow sekejap untuk makan angin. Alah alang-alang they say.

Well the pictures are unfortunately not that great since it was still winter-y and gloomy...but please enjoy the pictures nevertheless. As far as I could remember we didn't visit many places much, just to the Krakow's Old Town and places near to it like the Wawel Castle. So...just enjoy the photos lah no?

Again, for better resolution just click on the pictures, and just fyi, the pictures are from my phone camera (boo) and my friend's dlsr (yay).

KRAKOW'S OLD TOWN

Amek gambar dekat city gate guard house/church (?) before entering old town's centre

St. Florian's Gate, salah satu pintu masuk ke Old Town. 

The scenery inside, we all nak ke menara kat hujung tu which is the square

Well actually it is a historic site with a lot of souvenir shops and stalls around it, even at the square ada banyak gila stalls yang jual souvenirs. Not to mention there were various street performers there too, entertaining the crowds.

in another angle

and in another angle (again) lol

St. Mary Basilica, one of the building..see how snow made it all muddy?

again experimenting with angles

trying to be quite artistic by taking it this way :D

one of the sculptures there

and we went for some shopping too for souvenirs, ada banyak woody handcrafts here yang so artsy

this is the paveway that leads to the souvenir market :)

inside it, yay its shopping time!

and some posing. well I didnt recall im the one taking this pic haha

So after shopping we wandered around while searching for place to have small brunch. Here are some photos (literally) of us jalan-jalan around the town..well I dont think these are that important, oh well...

random architecture

random statue along the way

12 Apostles statues outside this one church

Inside one random church, look at those glass windows, pretty!

inside one random church, I love the gothic feeling inside here

So thats all about it, and now we're off to the Wawel Castle.

WAWEL CASTLE

Well, Wawel Castle is located on top of a hill, and of course we had to climb the hill to reach there. It was pretty tiring, especially since we had been walking all day around the Old Town, but we managed to reach the castle anyway as we're uhm,...young and healthy and strong? Haha.

This castle is so gorgeous, the scenery is so amazing and it even has this one dragon sculpture that breathes fire, how cool is that! It's legend thingy in Krakow about dragon, sama macam di Warsaw yang juga punya legenda tersendiri, cuma kat Warsaw legend dia pasal ikan duyung laki-laki.

So few itsy bitsy pictures here and there...

the castle from far away, kena naik bukit nak sampai ke atas

buildings along the way to the top :)

okay we're getting closer!!

tada we made it! i honestly dunno what were we doing there at the gate

cepat-cepat kena pose kat gate ni haha 

The architecture inside. boo nasyid pose!

in another "perasan artistic" angle

some close up. close up la sangat ahah

And finally it's the fire-breathing dragon sculpture, yay!

see he breathes fireeee, so cool! :))

So with the dragon sculpture picture, I think that's the end of our amazing story in Poland. Well, technically it was not a story, but still...Anyway, I'm so sorry if the way I wrote is so sucky, I just dunno how to write this kind of post. Maybe the next post will be much better, I'll try my best.

So, the next post will be about Budapest, Hungary, and I love love love Budapest, such an amazing city. I seriously can't wait to share and post the pictures!

May peace be upon you, till later everyone :)

Life is unfair

Saw this on dearest friend's tumblr (sorry sbb stalked you..I wont tell anyone, your privacy is safe with me hee), and gotta share it.

Uggh this world is so filled with crazy idiotic fellas.

Kisah Talut, Jalut and Bani Israel

It's so amazing when solutions and signs were sent from above when we were in the midst of kebuntuan and kehilangan arah. And the fact that it came from the holy quran made me feel so blessed for being a muslim.

These past few days I had been in my super-weakened mood upon being assigned with newest responsibility that I shall not be named (sorry), and while tadabur-ing ayat from Surah Baqarah in my first usrah of this semester, alhamdulillah my spirit had been restored.

This is one of the many many reasons why I love joining usrah, it's indeed therapeutic.

It came from ayat 246 - 252 from surah al-Baqarah, concerning the story of Talut, Jalut and Bani Israel. In case you're wondering which story was it, feel free to check the ayats in your quran or just simply click here for quick summary :)

At first I thought it was about how Bani Israil akan mengelat dengan apa jua cara sekalipun walaupun mengaku mereka berada di jalan Allah, and it was solely about ketetapan iman...but when my murabbi revealed to us the main highlight from the ayat, I was quite surprised as it was unexpected.

Just keep in mind that I didnt tell anyone about the gloominess that I had in my chest, I came to the usrah solely because it was our first meeting of the semester and I dont want to miss the taaruf, and hearing the comforts from the ayats made me realize how somehow God really helps us in really unexpected ways.

My murabbi revealed that what those ayats trying to say is dalam setiap tahap lapisan iman, we will always be tested. Tak kisah lah waktu kita nak mula-mula yakin ke, atau kita dah lama yakin ke dan tengah nak bergerak ke lapisan seterusnya, kita memang akan selalu diuji.

Take those Talut's followers for example. Pada mulanya mereka diuji dengan ajakan untuk berperang, dan ramai yang tak join. Lepas tu Allah uji dengan pilih Talut, a mere human like them as their pemimpin, tapi they all merungut. Lepas tu Allah uji lagi dengan larangan meminum air sungai tatkala dahaga, ada yang ingkar kecuali segelintir je daripada mereka.

And this segelintirlah yang menang melawan Jalut.

It's like ujian saringan untuk tahu siapa yang betul-betul layak untuk jadi those yang akan naikkan Islam, dan yang tinggalnya cuma sikit je lepas ujian demi ujian dilaksanakan.

And this what made me so taken aback. Baru diuji dengan sedikit responsibiliti je had made me so runsing, astaghfirullah astaghfirullah astaghfirullah.

There will always gonna be test demi test ahead of us, dan tak bererti yang dah lama di jalan Allah ni pasti mampu hadapi this ujian, anything is possible when it comes to Allah's will. Dan percayalah, jangan anggap jalan yang kita pilih ni jalan yang mudah dan senang mentang-mentang Allah dah janjikan bahawa kita ni akan menang. It's not easy, but it can be easy.

Yelah, yang segelintir tu mestilah cream of the cream punya kan?

With that being said ya Allah mohon teguhkanlah iman buat mereka yang pilih jalan Allah ini, dan with proper usaha I believe we can make it. InsyaAllah :)

May Allah jaga hati kita.

Changing

Finally I have found my long-lost goal for this new semester, which is cuba sedaya upaya untuk jadi individu muslim yang TAK ADA LANGSUNG sebarang keaiban daiyyah. It's about time to berubah ke arah yang lebih baik, especially when recently I keep thinking yang betapa hidup ini terlalu monotonous, asyik buat rutin yang sama berulang-ulang kali setiap hari tanpa ada contribute apa-apa benda ynag berguna untuk bekalan di alam yang kekal nanti.

It's not that I havent started apa-apa pun lagi untuk berubah, truth to be told I have been trying to change my habit seket demi seket ke arah yang lebih baik, but not totally. I know it's been hard, tapi insyaAllah dengan izin Allah, harapnya this year i'm gonna be fully berubah on few particular matter that I think memang tak baik dan tak memanfaatkan diri. Masing-masing kenal dosa masing-masing kan, so I shall not elaborate much further on those specific matters. Yang penting, no more this, no more that and such. I know that once we said yes, Allah will help us no matter what. Just believe in Allah, things for sure will be at ease eventually.

Lagipun it's about time, while the clock is still ticking. May Allah blessed my niat.

Winter Trip '12 - Part I - Poland (i)

OMZYXG the pictures are here guyssss as promised :)

First destination : Poland. In Poland, we visited two places; its capital which is Warsaw, and Krakow. Dua dua tempat ni merupakan dua tempat yang Malaysia hantar students study medik di Poland, dan di Poland jugak I met with my schoolmate yang study kat sini.

Since it was our first day, of course lah the gambar were not so many. Lagipun we are all guys kot, takleh nak camwhore sangat hehe.

Tapi ada lah jugak seciput.

Keep in mind that it was winter, so the view tak lah cantik sangat as in spring or summer. Tapi at least the whiteness of the snow made us look quite cerah in most of the pictures :P

So we all arrived in late evening, and while searching for halal restaurant for dinner, we walked around the town a bit so that tak kalut-kalut sangat tomorrow. Lagipun it's not really that late, it's winter time and pukul 6 ke atas dah gelap dah.

*click the picture for better resolution*

saw this building while walking, dunno what is it but I like the architecture

This is National Theater (Teatr Narodowy)

Gate of the tombs of unknown soldiers

...and our picture in front of it

And this is one of the guards who guard this place.

Agak lucu sebenarnya sebab bila difikir-fikir balik, we visited kubur malam-malam buta. Nasib baik nothing spooky happened. Anyway, keep in mind that it was winter time, the weather was super cold and we had been outside for too long, so we didn't take pictures much.

OLD TOWN

not so many people, sejjukk

loving the angle here, with the light and all

I lupa on sequence to where we went first the day after we arrived, tapi agak banyak jugaklah tempat that we visited, like;

WILANOW PALACE

Church in Wilanow

besides the church

random benda yang caught my attention. in summer i think ada anggur bergayut rasanya

Wilanow Palace with us. Wah macam budak-budak sumenye!

loving the angle here!

LAZIENKI PARK

See, even the pigeons were shivering!

The Floating Palace

as usual, us in front of it :)

smizing

Giving food to Mr. Peacock

PALAC KULTURY I NAUKI

In Russia we have this building too with same architecture, called the Seven Sisters 

Us in front of the monument

with some old friends studying there

and we even left our "momento" in there too hehe :P

Ish vandalism ni

WARSAW NATIONAL STADIUM (UEFA EURO 2012)

the stadium

Le us

and finally...

IN OLD TOWN AGAIN (last night for souvenirs hunting)

when we arrived..

then..it's snowing so bad, so not taking much pictures

the old town, love the effects and hue and all

So basically that was it, sungguh tak teratur kan post ni? Well I did my best in selecting pictures and whatnot, so biorlah. Next one's gonna be in Poland too, but in Krakow, so stay tuned. 

Later :)