Pagi ini saya ditegur oleh Allah. Bicara Umar bin Al Khattab tatakala ingin membuka kunci Baitul Maqdis dalam keadaan sederhana dan bersahaja; "kita ini adalah umat yang telah Allah berikan kemuliaan dengan Islam. Sekiranya kita mencari kemuliaan dengan yang lain, maka Allah akan memberikan kehinaan kepada kita."
Allahu.
Terkadang ada perkara yang saya dahului berbanding urusan kerja saya dengan Allah. Adakalanya hati milik tuhan yang mengepam darah muda saya ini cuba memberontak, berusaha sedaya upaya untuk tidak terikat dengan peraturan dan sebagainya sebab tak mahu dilabel.
Adakalanya terdetik juga di hati saya, adakah saya kini terjerat dalam gelembung hipokrasi ciptaan saya sendiri? Sudah betul ikhlaskah saya? Ataukah masih jauh lagi penyucian hati saya untuk benar-benar yakin dengan pautan urwatil wusqo sebagai kemuliaan?
Mana perginya percaya yang sama, di saat api dingin membakar nabi Allah Ibrahim?
Mana perginya percaya yang sama, di saat tongkat nabi Allah Musa dilempar di tengah gelanggang firaun?
Mana perginya percaya yang sama, saat si Ghulam merelakan dirinya ditusuk panah?
Allahu..
Moga ketemu kekuatan kalbu serta penyucian jiwa dari pemilik hati. Dan ternyata, bukan mulianya diri dalam tenungan mata-mata pinjaman Tuhan yang sepatutnya dicari..
Wednesday, December 24, 2014
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Ruyung
Adakalanya tak semua ruyung mampu dipecahkan.
Pedih ditelan diluah derita, memang begitu hakikatnya.
Entahlah. Berat kaki melangkah, berat lagi hati yang digalas. Terasa makin lama makin jerih untuk menapak, tak daya memecah ruyung yang entah bila kelibat sagunya.
Pedih ditelan diluah derita, memang begitu hakikatnya.
Entahlah. Berat kaki melangkah, berat lagi hati yang digalas. Terasa makin lama makin jerih untuk menapak, tak daya memecah ruyung yang entah bila kelibat sagunya.
Pengalaman lalu mengubah neraca kini dan membawa seribu satu perspektif baru. Penat memecah ruyung sehingga terluka habis jari jemari.
Bukan berputus asa, cuma diri si pemecah ruyung ini cuba rasional untuk bertapak di alam realiti. Mungkin liatnya ruyung dek pincangnya kudrat dan jemari yang luka,,, pintakan tenungan susulan mata dan ruang masa untuk kembali bertenaga..
Maka izinkan, mohon diperkenan...
Bukan berputus asa, cuma diri si pemecah ruyung ini cuba rasional untuk bertapak di alam realiti. Mungkin liatnya ruyung dek pincangnya kudrat dan jemari yang luka,,, pintakan tenungan susulan mata dan ruang masa untuk kembali bertenaga..
Maka izinkan, mohon diperkenan...
Saturday, September 6, 2014
Season of New Beginnings
Last summer was somehow a season of new beginnings.
Well for me this is relatively new. It is very new and strange and I still have hard times digesting all of these stuffs happening. Sometimes I feel like we are in the movies, like the film is rolling and we are the actor in it performing our roles. Some have to be the hero while some have to be the villagers. Yet, each one of us play important role to deliver a scene, Everyone's a somebody's now.
And witnessing those films rolling through my eyes, had got me trembling with enough gushes of fear. Its hard to digest the fact that this is a new phase of life that I have to go through. A phase that not only me have to go through. A phase of no turning back. A phase of new beginnings.
A phase called adulthood.
#Emotional summer, Like eh I'm feeling old.
People at my age is getting married, some are expecting babies, some are graduating while some are going through their first job, settling down in new environment, new friends, new beginning of life...
...well a season of new beginnings indeed.
Well for me this is relatively new. It is very new and strange and I still have hard times digesting all of these stuffs happening. Sometimes I feel like we are in the movies, like the film is rolling and we are the actor in it performing our roles. Some have to be the hero while some have to be the villagers. Yet, each one of us play important role to deliver a scene, Everyone's a somebody's now.
And witnessing those films rolling through my eyes, had got me trembling with enough gushes of fear. Its hard to digest the fact that this is a new phase of life that I have to go through. A phase that not only me have to go through. A phase of no turning back. A phase of new beginnings.
A phase called adulthood.
Welcome to this adulthood thingy, A. The train has arrived.
Welcome, selamat datang, irrashaimase, dobra posjalovats, and davaiii.
Yet still, we can have this option though:
Welcome, selamat datang, irrashaimase, dobra posjalovats, and davaiii.
And I'd be lying if not welcoming the train with slight pinch of fear.
And that is what I always aim to be (sejak tamat highschool lagi, kan Y?)
At least this is comforting...
#Emotional summer, Like eh I'm feeling old.
Sunday, June 15, 2014
Goodbyes Not Yet
Well, opening facebook today is not a good idea.
Half of the seniors are waving their final goodbyes, juniors are happily packing their stuffs to go back for holidays, and the rest of fifth year and I, are busy cramming our brains up for another three more papers left. Woah I can't believe how much I hate this time of the year.
Usually I just don't care, but this time I get this sudden strange feeling of loneliness. Maybe I am a little homesick (which is weird because I am usually not), maybe I am exhausted with all these notes and exams and salmonellosis, Whipple, Roux-en-Y stuffs, or maybe seeing seniors graduating and finished with their studies means that we only have a year left in this icy land of Moscow. Again, like A YEAR left.
Colour me surprise, I am not ready for it. Thinking about it makes my heart aches a little. It's really too much to think about but my silly, silly mind could not stop from asking so many questions.
Colour me surprise, I am not ready for it. Thinking about it makes my heart aches a little. It's really too much to think about but my silly, silly mind could not stop from asking so many questions.
Like how do they do that?
Saying goodbye...to this land where they grown up into?
Parting ways forever with Kremlin, St Basil, Metros and the babushkas?
Like how could I do that next year? How am I suppose to be strong like them next year, with straight faces and redha smiles and no tears?
I just don't want to imagine that. It's too early A, it's too early.
Just please save your "prashai" for next year.
And in the mean time, with these few moments left I just wanna cherish every single moments I have left and keep reading hepatitis, leptospirosis and all those infectious thingy.
May the force will always be with me.
"Apa yang ada pada kamu akan habis hilang dan hilang lenyap, dan apa yang ada di sisi Allah itu jualah yang tetap kekal. Dan sesungguhnya Kami akan membalas orang-orang yang sabar dengan memberikan pahala yang lebih baik daripada apa yang telah mereka kerjakan"
an-Nahl: 16:96
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| source: Google |
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
The Rains and All Its Glory
It's been a moody week for me. And it seems like the weather could hint that my mood today was off. It's been raining cats and dogs for three consecutive days, which we Muscovites did not expect the rains would be pouring down this heavily. Maybe Allah is listening to the rants of those who had suffer from early summer's heated wave.
I do love when it's raining, since I am all about the rain. I always find the rain is soothing. When you were in trouble and the rain was pouring so heavily, the feeling is beyond indescribable. You just couldn't escape from feeling extremely sad as the situation goes. It's like the rain amplifies your melodramatic grief to the uppermost level and you just left being hopeless, and helpless. Like everything is too much and inside your heart it's raining too. OMG now I am being overly dramatic, boohooooo.
But seriously, there is something with rains that makes me feel very connected. It is comforting, refreshing, and most importantly it's cooling everything down. Each time I feel the rain, I couldn't help to think about one of my favourite ayah about the rains, from surah al-A'raaf;
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| St Basil Cathedral on rainy day, sila abaikan payung bercorak ala makcik-makcik |
I do love when it's raining, since I am all about the rain. I always find the rain is soothing. When you were in trouble and the rain was pouring so heavily, the feeling is beyond indescribable. You just couldn't escape from feeling extremely sad as the situation goes. It's like the rain amplifies your melodramatic grief to the uppermost level and you just left being hopeless, and helpless. Like everything is too much and inside your heart it's raining too. OMG now I am being overly dramatic, boohooooo.
But seriously, there is something with rains that makes me feel very connected. It is comforting, refreshing, and most importantly it's cooling everything down. Each time I feel the rain, I couldn't help to think about one of my favourite ayah about the rains, from surah al-A'raaf;
"Dan Dialah yang meniupkan angin sebagai pembawa berita gembira sebelum kedatangan rahmat-Nya (hujan), hingga apabila angin itu telah membawa awan mendung, Kami halau ke suatu daerah yang tandus, lalu Kami turunkan "hujan" di daerah itu, maka Kami keluarkan dengan sebab angin itu pelbagai macam buah-buahan. Seperti itulah Kami membangkitkan orang-orang yang telah mati, mudah-mudahan kamu mengambil pelajaran"
(al-A'raaf, 7:57)
In this ayah Allah drives heavy clouds towards a dead land and with His graceful mercy, He blesses the land with water to fall upon it, causing all manner of fruits to come forth. And Allah makes us to keep in mind that this is how He causes the dead to come to life.
In this particular ayah, I'd like to tadabbur and stressed out that rain plays an important role in reliving a dead land to be fruitful. Without rain, the dead land is a dead land, wasted and unnoticed by others.
As per say, in life we need rain too. Sometimes we left our heart dries for too long until its dead, and its time to get the heart soaked wet for some rejuvenation. Let find some rain that can rejuvenates our hearts, making our borrowed body to be fruitful and worthy. And ofcourse it is none other than our job to keep the dried land always soaked, either from zikr or reading surahs to reciting mathurats, to keep our dried land alive and functioning.
The rain could be anything that can make our hearts soaked, and when the water has poured down on the dried land, trust me, just like a productive land, you'll see the better glimpse of life, and you won't be wanting to be sunshined again.
And yes, those who thinks sunshine is pure happiness have never tried dancing in the rain :)
*berkarat ingrish, pardon the grammars
In this particular ayah, I'd like to tadabbur and stressed out that rain plays an important role in reliving a dead land to be fruitful. Without rain, the dead land is a dead land, wasted and unnoticed by others.
As per say, in life we need rain too. Sometimes we left our heart dries for too long until its dead, and its time to get the heart soaked wet for some rejuvenation. Let find some rain that can rejuvenates our hearts, making our borrowed body to be fruitful and worthy. And ofcourse it is none other than our job to keep the dried land always soaked, either from zikr or reading surahs to reciting mathurats, to keep our dried land alive and functioning.
The rain could be anything that can make our hearts soaked, and when the water has poured down on the dried land, trust me, just like a productive land, you'll see the better glimpse of life, and you won't be wanting to be sunshined again.
And yes, those who thinks sunshine is pure happiness have never tried dancing in the rain :)
*berkarat ingrish, pardon the grammars
Setelah sekian lama
Hati rasa mahu menulis, maka dicoretkan sahajalah apa yang terlintas dalam benak kepala. Ha ini kejadahnya kalau menulis ikut suka hati, sekali panjang sangat sudahnya. Layan je lah nak buat cemano...
1) Luluh jantung kejap sekilas terpandang gambar senior dalam sesi photoshoot untuk graduasi. Terasa sekejap je masa berlalu, pejam celik tinggal setahun je lagi sebelum tiba giliran kami untuk grad. Sungguh rasa macam tak senior sangat tak matang bagai...apatah lagi bila cakap bab bab nak kerja, memang rasa sangat tak bersedia huhuhu
2) Cakap-cakap tentang kerja, hari tu waktu sembang petang bersama rakan sekaki kami terbincang yang nanti bila kerja memang semuanya akan bermula dari kosong balik. Kena bina hidup baru dan maksudnya kena bina hubungan baru balik jugalah. Waktu kerja ni lah kita akan jumpa kawan yang betul-betul kawan punye sebab kat situlah kita kerja dan kat situlah kita mulakan hidup kita yang sebetulnya. Memang muka yang tu lah yang kita duk hadap hari-hari dan yang tu lah yang akan di-otomatically dijemput bila ada kenduri-kendara mahupun nak ajak gi mengopi. Dan yang sedihnya kawan seuniversiti kita ni nanti akan disperse merata dan berpecah bina hidup masing-masing. Kalau jumpa, jumpalah. Kalau takk.. :(
3) I enjoyed my spring season way too much tahun ini tapi peliknya masih belum puas lagi ni. Memang dah jadi adat di sini tatkala beralihnya musim salju, maka mulalah masing-masing nak start berkelah. Piknik rakan segrup lah, piknik seusrah lah, piknik sepersatuan lah, piknik bros lah, boleh kira memang semua nak rebut peluang untuk berkelah di waktu yang begini. Nak buat macam mana, waktu macam ni lah bunga dah mula berkembang dan suhu sekitar pula sangat nyaman. Waktu ni lah nak golek sakan atas rumput ala-ala kuch-kuch hota hai:P
4) Banyak benda rosak sejak nak dekat dengan hari lahir ni. Henset rosaklah, kad dah luput tarikhlah, problem dengan akaun telefon lah...haih macam-macam. Nak pamper diri sendiri pun tak boleh sebab fulus, I dont have :(
5) Bulan ni agak sibuk sedikit sampaikan makan pun entah ke mana. I can't remember single thing I consumed, bende ntah yang dimakan nye hari-hari. Bila sibuk ni perut secara sendirinya akan kenyang, sumbat dalam perut apa pun aku tak tahu. Tapi serius I was very busy with quite few programmes. Biasalah tu, bila nak akhir semester ni mulalah banyak persatuan nak sumbat segala jenis program. Nak kejar masa sebelum final katanya. Tapi tak merungut pun sebab suka je bila banyak aktiviti, baru rasa aktif sedikit berbanding biasa.
6) Bila berada dalam cycle yang tak beban sangat di hujung semester, rasa macam terlebih relaks la pulak, sehinggakan mood belajar untuk exam final pun ikut relaks sekali. Padahal subjek untuk final kali ni tersangatlah banyak sampaikan batch kitorang ni lah yang balik paling lambat. Malasnya mekk wehhh nak bukak buku...sebab roh dah terbang ke bazaar ramadhan dah ni mencari ikan keli sambal cili padi, sate, putu halba dan nasi kerabu.
7) Hajatnya tak nak balik sempena cuti musim panas kali ni memandangkan nak rasa pengalaman beraya di luar negara, tapi tak boleh resist semangat nak balik. Bila difikirkan yang sebulan terpaksa puasa hampir berbelas jam setiap hari kalau tak balik, terus digagahi juga usaha untuk mencari tiket meskipun harga untuk tiket naik lagi tahun ni. Mujurlah terjumpa tiket online yang harganya memadai, sekurang-kurangnya tak lari sangatlah dari bajet asal. Kali ni singgah transit yang lama di Instanbul, saja plan begitu sebab nak hayati bekas Kota Khalifah kesayangan saya ni sungguh-sungguh sekali lagi.
8) Lain macam rasanya bila berpindah masuk ke asrama. Sekurang-kurangnya tak perlu risau pasal bil air dan bil elektrik lagi. Banyak aktiviti boleh dibuat sebab penghuninya ramai, dan berdekatan pula dengan taman yang subhanallah sangat cantik. Yang jadi masalahnya cuma susah sedikit nak memasak memandangkan dapur terpaksa dikongsi bersama..dan bila duduk ramai-ramai ni dah boleh kenal lah perangai sekian-sekian ni macam mana memandangkan gossip senang sangat bercambah..hmm
9) Kalau boleh rasanya mahu pusing satu bandar Moscow ni puas-puas. Yelah, tinggal tak sampai setahun je lagi kat sini, memang haruslah masa yang tinggal ni digunakan sebaik mungkin. Dah cuba untuk plan semaksimum mungkin dah setakat ni untuk ronda sana-sini, tapi masih belum mampu dilaksanakan lagi disebabkan banyak benda yang lagi penting kena diselesaikan dahulu. Tambahan lagi nak meronda ni kena guna duit juga...maka selalu krik-krik lah jawabnya huhu
1) Luluh jantung kejap sekilas terpandang gambar senior dalam sesi photoshoot untuk graduasi. Terasa sekejap je masa berlalu, pejam celik tinggal setahun je lagi sebelum tiba giliran kami untuk grad. Sungguh rasa macam tak senior sangat tak matang bagai...apatah lagi bila cakap bab bab nak kerja, memang rasa sangat tak bersedia huhuhu
2) Cakap-cakap tentang kerja, hari tu waktu sembang petang bersama rakan sekaki kami terbincang yang nanti bila kerja memang semuanya akan bermula dari kosong balik. Kena bina hidup baru dan maksudnya kena bina hubungan baru balik jugalah. Waktu kerja ni lah kita akan jumpa kawan yang betul-betul kawan punye sebab kat situlah kita kerja dan kat situlah kita mulakan hidup kita yang sebetulnya. Memang muka yang tu lah yang kita duk hadap hari-hari dan yang tu lah yang akan di-otomatically dijemput bila ada kenduri-kendara mahupun nak ajak gi mengopi. Dan yang sedihnya kawan seuniversiti kita ni nanti akan disperse merata dan berpecah bina hidup masing-masing. Kalau jumpa, jumpalah. Kalau takk.. :(
3) I enjoyed my spring season way too much tahun ini tapi peliknya masih belum puas lagi ni. Memang dah jadi adat di sini tatkala beralihnya musim salju, maka mulalah masing-masing nak start berkelah. Piknik rakan segrup lah, piknik seusrah lah, piknik sepersatuan lah, piknik bros lah, boleh kira memang semua nak rebut peluang untuk berkelah di waktu yang begini. Nak buat macam mana, waktu macam ni lah bunga dah mula berkembang dan suhu sekitar pula sangat nyaman. Waktu ni lah nak golek sakan atas rumput ala-ala kuch-kuch hota hai:P
4) Banyak benda rosak sejak nak dekat dengan hari lahir ni. Henset rosaklah, kad dah luput tarikhlah, problem dengan akaun telefon lah...haih macam-macam. Nak pamper diri sendiri pun tak boleh sebab fulus, I dont have :(
5) Bulan ni agak sibuk sedikit sampaikan makan pun entah ke mana. I can't remember single thing I consumed, bende ntah yang dimakan nye hari-hari. Bila sibuk ni perut secara sendirinya akan kenyang, sumbat dalam perut apa pun aku tak tahu. Tapi serius I was very busy with quite few programmes. Biasalah tu, bila nak akhir semester ni mulalah banyak persatuan nak sumbat segala jenis program. Nak kejar masa sebelum final katanya. Tapi tak merungut pun sebab suka je bila banyak aktiviti, baru rasa aktif sedikit berbanding biasa.
6) Bila berada dalam cycle yang tak beban sangat di hujung semester, rasa macam terlebih relaks la pulak, sehinggakan mood belajar untuk exam final pun ikut relaks sekali. Padahal subjek untuk final kali ni tersangatlah banyak sampaikan batch kitorang ni lah yang balik paling lambat. Malasnya mekk wehhh nak bukak buku...sebab roh dah terbang ke bazaar ramadhan dah ni mencari ikan keli sambal cili padi, sate, putu halba dan nasi kerabu.
7) Hajatnya tak nak balik sempena cuti musim panas kali ni memandangkan nak rasa pengalaman beraya di luar negara, tapi tak boleh resist semangat nak balik. Bila difikirkan yang sebulan terpaksa puasa hampir berbelas jam setiap hari kalau tak balik, terus digagahi juga usaha untuk mencari tiket meskipun harga untuk tiket naik lagi tahun ni. Mujurlah terjumpa tiket online yang harganya memadai, sekurang-kurangnya tak lari sangatlah dari bajet asal. Kali ni singgah transit yang lama di Instanbul, saja plan begitu sebab nak hayati bekas Kota Khalifah kesayangan saya ni sungguh-sungguh sekali lagi.
8) Lain macam rasanya bila berpindah masuk ke asrama. Sekurang-kurangnya tak perlu risau pasal bil air dan bil elektrik lagi. Banyak aktiviti boleh dibuat sebab penghuninya ramai, dan berdekatan pula dengan taman yang subhanallah sangat cantik. Yang jadi masalahnya cuma susah sedikit nak memasak memandangkan dapur terpaksa dikongsi bersama..dan bila duduk ramai-ramai ni dah boleh kenal lah perangai sekian-sekian ni macam mana memandangkan gossip senang sangat bercambah..hmm
9) Kalau boleh rasanya mahu pusing satu bandar Moscow ni puas-puas. Yelah, tinggal tak sampai setahun je lagi kat sini, memang haruslah masa yang tinggal ni digunakan sebaik mungkin. Dah cuba untuk plan semaksimum mungkin dah setakat ni untuk ronda sana-sini, tapi masih belum mampu dilaksanakan lagi disebabkan banyak benda yang lagi penting kena diselesaikan dahulu. Tambahan lagi nak meronda ni kena guna duit juga...maka selalu krik-krik lah jawabnya huhu
Saturday, April 26, 2014
Its the Future
"If you're really worried about your future, you should put more effort into it".
- Dr. Syamirullah Rahim
Don't worry, things will be okay if you have REALLY prepared since the beginning.
Mind over matter, A.
Mind over matter.
Jazakumullah for the efforts of making this video, as of now its getting clearer as Grey's Anatomy.
Moga Allah permudahkan semuanya, baik usaha sebelum mahupun selepas.
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Visa Day
Its visa day, and I hate visa day.
The whole waiting and waiting and waiting for your queue to be up is the hardest part, unless the day is today, which was thousandth time worse.
It's funny how things you had meticulously planned the night before scattered into places just because you napped a little too much.
It's like today is not my day.
Had to skip breakfast and lunch, missed class, stuck in traffic, being scolded in front of strangers by the bank's lady and being ridiculed for bringing outdated machinery at the photo shop. On top of that, my whole lunch hour was spent by running frantically from this to there, catching and searching for options when my usuals were mostly closed. Poor my empty stomach.
Thanks god things went smoothly after that, which means all of it was paid off.
But alas, it is still a visa day and I hate visa day.
The whole waiting and waiting and waiting for your queue to be up is the hardest part, unless the day is today, which was thousandth time worse.
It's funny how things you had meticulously planned the night before scattered into places just because you napped a little too much.
It's like today is not my day.
Had to skip breakfast and lunch, missed class, stuck in traffic, being scolded in front of strangers by the bank's lady and being ridiculed for bringing outdated machinery at the photo shop. On top of that, my whole lunch hour was spent by running frantically from this to there, catching and searching for options when my usuals were mostly closed. Poor my empty stomach.
Thanks god things went smoothly after that, which means all of it was paid off.
But alas, it is still a visa day and I hate visa day.
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Sunday, February 9, 2014
First World Problem
Hmmm hari ni start sekolah. Rasa sedih sebab pakai baju lama eheheh.
Then terus teringat this quote on instagram, always be my new sem mantra.
Doakan saya selamat belajar!
Amin
Then terus teringat this quote on instagram, always be my new sem mantra.
Ok gurau-gurau aje, ini bukan first world problem pun.
Doakan saya selamat belajar!
Amin
Unwind A Little
Taking a week off from this cold and mundane city of Moscow is definitely worth it. It's so nice to unwind a little, breaking off to being a tourist and not a student for a change, even if it's just for a week.
Just so you know, I am not much of a fan of travelling.
Travelling, is hardd. Like super-friggin-memeningkan kepala punye hard.
It's a very challenging process, which drains and sucks out your energy to make you always feel anxious and wanna pee all the time :(
You must have all skills in your pocket if you wanted to travel.
Everything has to be polished beforehand. You have to be smart with every single skill; like map-reading skill, communication skill, tolerance skill, adaptability skill, gadget-y skill, planning skill, you name it.
It involves all skills mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. You have to be good, kind and approachable, but don't hesitate to be heartless and cunning at times in need. Clumsiness is a no go, and attentiveness to the details is something you just HAVE to have kot kot mana pun.
And you have to think awfully fast too in case something suddenly went wrong.
As for me, I am mostly terrible in everything. But whether you like it or not, the show must go on once you set your foot the soil which isn't yours. You gotta do what you gotta do since there is no option left than trying to survive, even when its reaching your limit to do so. It is the time where you have to step out from your comfort zone and test your limit as eventually, sooner or later, the time will come too no matter what. Now or never, ready or not...you have to be at your very best when the moment came...
Well, as crazy as it sounds, I did experience the worst in this trip. We could plan all we want but God is still the better planner than us. However, it was still a fun experience though. especially when we managed to pull it through. And at least you got something to remember from your journey.
Alah, this is life. Bad experience, good experience, all are the spices in life, toughen us up for upcoming battles in life.
Lagipun kalau rasa susah hati sebab travel tu susah, ingat ayat ni;
"Dialah yang menjadikan bumi itu mudah bagi kamu, maka berjalanlah di segala penjurunya..."
So yeah, some comments on what I felt of my '13/14 winter trip. Hopefully the pictures will follow up later on separate posts (if I could make it). I am sorting them out while recovering from jetlag and flu which I caught upon arrival home.
Till then, A.
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| Just a teaser to where I travelled to, :) |
Travelling, is hardd. Like super-friggin-memeningkan kepala punye hard.
It's a very challenging process, which drains and sucks out your energy to make you always feel anxious and wanna pee all the time :(
You must have all skills in your pocket if you wanted to travel.
Everything has to be polished beforehand. You have to be smart with every single skill; like map-reading skill, communication skill, tolerance skill, adaptability skill, gadget-y skill, planning skill, you name it.
It involves all skills mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. You have to be good, kind and approachable, but don't hesitate to be heartless and cunning at times in need. Clumsiness is a no go, and attentiveness to the details is something you just HAVE to have kot kot mana pun.
And you have to think awfully fast too in case something suddenly went wrong.
As for me, I am mostly terrible in everything. But whether you like it or not, the show must go on once you set your foot the soil which isn't yours. You gotta do what you gotta do since there is no option left than trying to survive, even when its reaching your limit to do so. It is the time where you have to step out from your comfort zone and test your limit as eventually, sooner or later, the time will come too no matter what. Now or never, ready or not...you have to be at your very best when the moment came...
Well, as crazy as it sounds, I did experience the worst in this trip. We could plan all we want but God is still the better planner than us. However, it was still a fun experience though. especially when we managed to pull it through. And at least you got something to remember from your journey.
Alah, this is life. Bad experience, good experience, all are the spices in life, toughen us up for upcoming battles in life.
Lagipun kalau rasa susah hati sebab travel tu susah, ingat ayat ni;
"Dialah yang menjadikan bumi itu mudah bagi kamu, maka berjalanlah di segala penjurunya..."
al-Mulk, 15
So yeah, some comments on what I felt of my '13/14 winter trip. Hopefully the pictures will follow up later on separate posts (if I could make it). I am sorting them out while recovering from jetlag and flu which I caught upon arrival home.
Till then, A.
Thursday, January 23, 2014
Mimpi
I shouldn't care much about my mimpi.
But for that particular one, it is.
At the end of the day, A, you will realise that you're just a tool.
That useless, easily tossed freaking tool.
And the hopes and the dreams, they aren't real.
Since beginning it was just wrong and weight-sided and totally bs written all over it.
And you're still hoping, eventhough the mimpi says it all.
And as you wake up from that mimpi, please wake up now too.
Wake up from this mimpi of yours, please.
This ain't no mimpi.
This is reality.
Thursday, January 16, 2014
The not so 50 facts about me
I was inspired to write this post upon watching this video on Youtube. It was so, like, totally random, in which I stumbled upon her while curiously googling on how Yuna wears those kinds of fancy turbans hahaha,
Well the video is about 50 facts that people don't know about her. She's a Swedish hijabi fashion vlogger and in that video she chose to vlog about random facts of her for the sake of making mutual connection among her suscribers.
So anyway, being an awkward-y-and-oddball-y person myself, I often have trouble when people ask me to speak up about myself during our first social encounter. Those meet ups always caught me off-guarded. There are so many things I could say, but eventually my tongue freezes and I ended up being panicked and got to say super boring stuffs blah blah blah you know the drills.
So, seeing how people can come up with 50 interesting facts of themselves enlightened me a little bit. At least whenever people asks me to speak up I can choose any of these facts and start talking. It was actually quite lame since this thing has been around for quite some time on bloggers, you know those tags-me-tags-you thingy...but heyy, for the sake of future me..it doesn't hurt to try this thing, right. And it is kind of fun too!
Well here the list goes, the50 30+ facts about me. I wanted to do 50 but I guess my brain might be out of juice or something, it was so hard to think 50 and ain't nobody got time for that. So enjoy and happy reading! Feel free to do one too and let me know if you're doing it in comment section :)
#. Let me start with basic things first. I am 23, I loss count of my age this year and I was really shocked to know my real age now, I wear spectacle on daily basis, currently a medical student and my shirts' sizes is xs.
#. I tend to be socially inert when I am in large group of people. Usually I let those loud, friendly, bubbly person to take the spotlight. If it was a small group, I ace them quite good actually and it's been proved recently. Yayyy
#. I have soft spot for anything that is furry or animals-printed. Gotta love the nature!
#. My favourite colour depends on my mood of the season. I used to love purple but nowadays I love tangerine and maroon and brown and burgundy and earthy tones. I hate blue though.
#. I love doodling things on my notes. All my doodles must have these oogly big, large eyes because I have this obsession with eyes. Some of my friends describe my doodlings as dark and emo and gothly, but I see them as high fashionly and of course, artistic.
#. People tends to be so silent around me, and I hate that. So to break the awkwardness I always have to start first and I do it by asking questions. Like hella lots of them. And my friends pun selalu cop me as selalu jawab soalan dengan soalan, so yeah jawablah engkau.
#. I'm suck when dealing with technology or manual stuffs. Guess I am not a techie. Well actually I am a late bloomers, I always late to catch-up new things. Plus with my always questioning nature it's definitely awkward at first. But when I do understand how to do it, I try to be the best that I could.
#. I have this habit to always grab a teddy at the entrance of Ikea to walk along me through the sections. They are not to be purchased, just for the sake of meneman and once I reach the exit area I put them where it belongs. Kids section, obviously.
#. I am slightly OCD-syndromish, tiny misbalances stress me out. I am a not perfectionist, but when things are not in its order, like when the shoes are left in mess or someone's tie is not properly aligned, it distracts me much. The same happened when someone left the tap water loose and the water dribbles out from it, or someone eat so poorly in restaurant with tissues and cutleries everywhere.it can make me go nuts. So so so distracting. Tiny little details distracts me and I hate that.
#. I love collecting hats, all sorts of it.
#. I am easily excitable. Excitement comes first then I will mumble to myself for my own commentaries to that matter later.
#. Chocolate can make me excited and hyperactive for couple of minutes. I will have this crazy fast speech and constantly doing those jittery giggling thing throughout the process.
#. I love mix-matching things in my wardrobe. I'll do that once per fortnight, or even once per week if my wardrobe is messy and inorganized. I will pile up the clothes up on the carpet and start planning my ootds for the rest of the weeks.
#. I like to use two patah perkataan of the persons name in my conversation. Like if the person's name is Fasha binti Karim, I like to use Fasha Karim whenever i greet and converse with her.
#. I don't do spontaneous thing. I need to plan it first in my head or elsewhere. I need to be mentally prepared before I do things and I also need time. The only exception is when it comes to studying. For that one I live for last minute study.
#. I hate driving. But recently it's growing positively in me. I still prefer motorcycles though than cars.
#. I'm not sure whether I like medicine or not. It's still on a fence about it. Though, I am super jealous of those who loves them wholeheartedly.
#. I am definitely Meredith Grey on Grey's Anatomy. The always depressive and over dramatic one is definitely me. A bit creepy but I do narrate things happened through my day in my head.
#. I love those singing reality tv competition. I just love music and I adore the confidence people have to sing. Not to mention these kind of people sing the songs with their own interpretation and I appreciate it so much.
#. I specifically hate when people don't tell me the truth. I accept lies but if you're gonna lie please be good at it. That explains why I am quite outspoken to share my inner intention of why i did certain things, and sometimes people sees me as cruel when they judge my intention.
#. I am concerned with being skinny and thin. I wanna be a little fatter but im scared of being one. I have issues, ha.
#. I used to hate vegetables but recently I enjoy them. Sometimes. But sometimes I ditch them too when I am not feeling so green-y. I love fresh salads though.
#. I hate tomatoes. They just cannot go well in my throat, mouth, everything. Yucks.
#. My favourite singers is Dayang Nurfaizah. I could listen to Dayang's voice like forever. There are couple more in my list but for the top one is her. And yes I love RnB songs.
#. I love studying with the help of 90's or traditional malay songs. I grew up by listening to traditional malay songs when I was a child (mostly to Noraniza Idris and Sharifah Aini, and some Raihan too)...so yes, I enjoy belting to them while studying. Traditional malay songs are one of my guilty pleasures too so shhhh
#. My bathroom is my stage of fame and I can perform grammy-winning concert in them.
#. I am allergic to bad seafood, specifically belacan. I will get sinusitis for that. The frustrating thing is I love belacan! But I just couldn't stand the fever and bengkak nanah dalam hidung that comes with it.
#. I am very bad with maps. I remember directions using my memory and that is why I hate driving. I will be panicked if I encounter new territory or road. Plus like I said before I am suck at new things so that's that too.
#. My favourite cake is chocolate, and second would be carrot cake.
#. I can't eat my cooking. It sucks since I always invest so much in my cooking, but what to do, I really can't eat my cooking. I am easily full too, sigh.
#. I don't know why I am considered as dark and twisty. I thought I am immature and yeah, dark and twisty. Okay fine. Maybe I am mysterious. Or overly sombong? But some people do finds me quite bubbly once they know me. So what am I? Introvert?
#. I always believe there are two kinds of mirror. The cheating one and the truthful one. The cheating one will make you look good and flawless, but the truthful one is the one that can make you truly look good and flawless once you spot the uglier you in it.
#. I don't like surprises because I don't know how to react to it. I don't do spontaneous thing, remember? But I love to remind people about my birthday, ive been doing that since high school hahah, paksa-ing people to remember the date.
#. Lastly I am always the one who goes to bed last. Its my habit since high school, I am such a late sleeper.
Well if I have few in minds I'll update later. Till then, ciao!
*Just to clarify things out, I didnt go through each of her videos. I just saw the Yuna's one because I was super curious on how they do the turbans things and the video on the link about facts, nothing else.
Well the video is about 50 facts that people don't know about her. She's a Swedish hijabi fashion vlogger and in that video she chose to vlog about random facts of her for the sake of making mutual connection among her suscribers.
So anyway, being an awkward-y-and-oddball-y person myself, I often have trouble when people ask me to speak up about myself during our first social encounter. Those meet ups always caught me off-guarded. There are so many things I could say, but eventually my tongue freezes and I ended up being panicked and got to say super boring stuffs blah blah blah you know the drills.
So, seeing how people can come up with 50 interesting facts of themselves enlightened me a little bit. At least whenever people asks me to speak up I can choose any of these facts and start talking. It was actually quite lame since this thing has been around for quite some time on bloggers, you know those tags-me-tags-you thingy...but heyy, for the sake of future me..it doesn't hurt to try this thing, right. And it is kind of fun too!
Well here the list goes, the
#. Let me start with basic things first. I am 23, I loss count of my age this year and I was really shocked to know my real age now, I wear spectacle on daily basis, currently a medical student and my shirts' sizes is xs.
#. I tend to be socially inert when I am in large group of people. Usually I let those loud, friendly, bubbly person to take the spotlight. If it was a small group, I ace them quite good actually and it's been proved recently. Yayyy
#. I have soft spot for anything that is furry or animals-printed. Gotta love the nature!
#. My favourite colour depends on my mood of the season. I used to love purple but nowadays I love tangerine and maroon and brown and burgundy and earthy tones. I hate blue though.
#. I love doodling things on my notes. All my doodles must have these oogly big, large eyes because I have this obsession with eyes. Some of my friends describe my doodlings as dark and emo and gothly, but I see them as high fashionly and of course, artistic.
#. People tends to be so silent around me, and I hate that. So to break the awkwardness I always have to start first and I do it by asking questions. Like hella lots of them. And my friends pun selalu cop me as selalu jawab soalan dengan soalan, so yeah jawablah engkau.
#. I'm suck when dealing with technology or manual stuffs. Guess I am not a techie. Well actually I am a late bloomers, I always late to catch-up new things. Plus with my always questioning nature it's definitely awkward at first. But when I do understand how to do it, I try to be the best that I could.
#. I have this habit to always grab a teddy at the entrance of Ikea to walk along me through the sections. They are not to be purchased, just for the sake of meneman and once I reach the exit area I put them where it belongs. Kids section, obviously.
#. I am slightly OCD-syndromish, tiny misbalances stress me out. I am a not perfectionist, but when things are not in its order, like when the shoes are left in mess or someone's tie is not properly aligned, it distracts me much. The same happened when someone left the tap water loose and the water dribbles out from it, or someone eat so poorly in restaurant with tissues and cutleries everywhere.it can make me go nuts. So so so distracting. Tiny little details distracts me and I hate that.
#. I love collecting hats, all sorts of it.
#. I am easily excitable. Excitement comes first then I will mumble to myself for my own commentaries to that matter later.
#. Chocolate can make me excited and hyperactive for couple of minutes. I will have this crazy fast speech and constantly doing those jittery giggling thing throughout the process.
#. I love mix-matching things in my wardrobe. I'll do that once per fortnight, or even once per week if my wardrobe is messy and inorganized. I will pile up the clothes up on the carpet and start planning my ootds for the rest of the weeks.
#. I like to use two patah perkataan of the persons name in my conversation. Like if the person's name is Fasha binti Karim, I like to use Fasha Karim whenever i greet and converse with her.
#. I don't do spontaneous thing. I need to plan it first in my head or elsewhere. I need to be mentally prepared before I do things and I also need time. The only exception is when it comes to studying. For that one I live for last minute study.
#. I hate driving. But recently it's growing positively in me. I still prefer motorcycles though than cars.
#. I'm not sure whether I like medicine or not. It's still on a fence about it. Though, I am super jealous of those who loves them wholeheartedly.
#. I am definitely Meredith Grey on Grey's Anatomy. The always depressive and over dramatic one is definitely me. A bit creepy but I do narrate things happened through my day in my head.
#. I love those singing reality tv competition. I just love music and I adore the confidence people have to sing. Not to mention these kind of people sing the songs with their own interpretation and I appreciate it so much.
#. I specifically hate when people don't tell me the truth. I accept lies but if you're gonna lie please be good at it. That explains why I am quite outspoken to share my inner intention of why i did certain things, and sometimes people sees me as cruel when they judge my intention.
#. I am concerned with being skinny and thin. I wanna be a little fatter but im scared of being one. I have issues, ha.
#. I used to hate vegetables but recently I enjoy them. Sometimes. But sometimes I ditch them too when I am not feeling so green-y. I love fresh salads though.
#. I hate tomatoes. They just cannot go well in my throat, mouth, everything. Yucks.
#. My favourite singers is Dayang Nurfaizah. I could listen to Dayang's voice like forever. There are couple more in my list but for the top one is her. And yes I love RnB songs.
#. I love studying with the help of 90's or traditional malay songs. I grew up by listening to traditional malay songs when I was a child (mostly to Noraniza Idris and Sharifah Aini, and some Raihan too)...so yes, I enjoy belting to them while studying. Traditional malay songs are one of my guilty pleasures too so shhhh
#. My bathroom is my stage of fame and I can perform grammy-winning concert in them.
#. I am allergic to bad seafood, specifically belacan. I will get sinusitis for that. The frustrating thing is I love belacan! But I just couldn't stand the fever and bengkak nanah dalam hidung that comes with it.
#. I am very bad with maps. I remember directions using my memory and that is why I hate driving. I will be panicked if I encounter new territory or road. Plus like I said before I am suck at new things so that's that too.
#. My favourite cake is chocolate, and second would be carrot cake.
#. I can't eat my cooking. It sucks since I always invest so much in my cooking, but what to do, I really can't eat my cooking. I am easily full too, sigh.
#. I don't know why I am considered as dark and twisty. I thought I am immature and yeah, dark and twisty. Okay fine. Maybe I am mysterious. Or overly sombong? But some people do finds me quite bubbly once they know me. So what am I? Introvert?
#. I always believe there are two kinds of mirror. The cheating one and the truthful one. The cheating one will make you look good and flawless, but the truthful one is the one that can make you truly look good and flawless once you spot the uglier you in it.
#. I don't like surprises because I don't know how to react to it. I don't do spontaneous thing, remember? But I love to remind people about my birthday, ive been doing that since high school hahah, paksa-ing people to remember the date.
#. Lastly I am always the one who goes to bed last. Its my habit since high school, I am such a late sleeper.
Well if I have few in minds I'll update later. Till then, ciao!
*Just to clarify things out, I didnt go through each of her videos. I just saw the Yuna's one because I was super curious on how they do the turbans things and the video on the link about facts, nothing else.
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