Silly Mistakes, eh?

Yes I am finally posting, yay to me!

Apparently for me “i am back” didn’t literally mean I am back, right?

It has been awhile since my last post here, and yes I missed my blog, in case you were wondering. My summer holidays was tres magnifique, I am enjoying every bits of it each day, and my Eid celebration was uber awesome, except for the fact that i am taking medicine and it’s sounded like a heavy burden on me since people kept asking about my slightly longer and messy hair (not related) and reminding me how lucky my family to have a doctor-soon-to-be in it and that's add more nervous for me to mess this "luck" up 'cause apparently, I am not that great in doing what i am doing right now.

(Oke i copied and pasted this from berkulat punya drafts)

Well moving on to the next point, my life is okay, considering i am in positive mode this whole week, up until today. Yes, Patho-anatomy hates me. More on that later, maybe tomorrow, or never, we'll see.

Anyhoo, when life’s getting shittier day by days, you start to realize that there is something wrong going on and that’s when you start searching in which point of life you did wrong.

I had one chat conversation via facebook with my dearest friend, complaining and whining (as usual) about how terrible my life was. This happened in earlier September this year, there was something wrong in my chest that time; i had this uncomfortable feeling within me that I felt like yelling to people for unknown reasons. I was mad, and raging, and PMS-ing, and he was just suddenly online. Considering he is one of my best-est friends in the whole world, I just have to do what a friend need to do when he is in need while he listened attentively (at least that what i thought he was doing :P)

Then he told me this.

Dia cakap yang biasanya bila dia rasa hari tu serba tak kena, dia akan try to find kat mana dia ada buat silap. I thought the mistakes that he did is like the on-off simple silly mistakes, like gaduh with friends or tak gerakkan kawan bangun, curi selipar dan sebagainya, tapi rupanya silap yang dia maksudkan tu rupanya silap kita dengan tuhan. Dia bagitau yang biasanya bila dia bangun lewat dan terlepas solat Subuh, hari tu mesti akan ada yang tak kena, yang memang akan merosakkan hari dia, and causing unnecessary uncomfortable stuffs to happen.

Then I felt like ditampar, my world starts spinning and macam flashbacks going on and off through my minds, trying to show me what exactly i did wrong for decades of my life.

Memang betul apa yang dia cakap, kadang-kadang kita lupa yang kita buat dosa ngan Tuhan, tapi kita selalu tak sedar salah kita, dan kita doubt pada Tuhan kenapa dia jadikan hidup kita miserable. We always think that what we did is perfectly enough, but indeed it's not.

Dahlah tak ikhlas, pastu bajet perfect. Pastu maki-maki kenapa nasib kita selalu malang. Patutlah makin serabut hidup.

So based on his advices, I followed what he said and be extra careful on unforgettable, bigger mistakes that involve with my relationship with God, and yes indeed, it is truly is true, I feel so positive after i started doing that. I feel relaxed, except for today of course, but that was because i sinned a little earlier, and Dia punished me.

Yes it is true, positive result.

Speaking of different invisible ways of God trying to reach us and giving the answers, kan?

Secrets

Secrets are not sealed within hearts and souls nowadays, but they are passed around one to another through tainted lips behind our back.

Thanks peeps, now i believe i have made a wise decision of not telling mine, although it was this close of opening it to people that i trust.

Speaking of making wise decisions in life kan, after all the stupid experiments that i've made through all of these years.

Kan bagus kalau aku boleh main delete-delete memori lama yang tak berguna dalam kepala otak ni?

Haihh

I'm back (again)

Semalam dah janji dengan diri sendiri yang akan update blog kot kot mana pun, tapi mood nak membolehkan menaip tu alahai, macam nak taknak datang je. Geram betul dibuatnya.

Nasib baik cik mun update blog tadi, buat aku tertarik sama nak menulis.

So sebagai permulaan, sorry banyak banyak sebab lama menghilangkan diri, tak ucap salam raya etc etc, mintak maaf banyak-banyak. Senang cakap aku memang pemalas orangnya, nuff said.

Cakap pasal raya, aku punya raya biasa-biasa je, ziarah situ ziarah sini, melaram situ melaram sini, dan duit raya pun macam biasalah, dah besar gedabak macam gini memang konfom seciput lah jawabnya. Tapi rasanya dalam banyak-banyak raya, raya tahun ni merupakan raya paling sibuk pernah aku rasa. Padahal rutin yang sama je dibuatnya tiap-tiap tahun, mungkin itu tanda aku makin tua dan berumur dan kerepot dan uzur LOL.

Kelas dah start seminggu lebih dah, tapi aku ponteng awal-awal tu, so maksudnya aku baru seminggu je lah pergi kelas. Kelas macam biasa, cuma untuk semester ni lagi padat dan subjek pulak makin susah. Kelas pulak start dari awal pagi sampai lewat petang, memang letih sangat-sangat bila balik. Pukul 10-11 malam dah rasa mengantuk dah, ishh macamana nak excel ni?

Kena double kan effort untuk semester ni lah nampak gayanya, dah taknak dah buat kerja last minute. Oke serius statements memang poyo gila haha, tapi takpe, mula-mula memang kena semangat lebih.

So tu je lah yang berlaku mostly, ada jugak part-part lain, yang sedih terutamanya, tapi yang tu in the next episode lah kot, malas nak merepek membabi buta malam ni dengan kisah-kisah emosional aku, ditambah lagi dengan kondisi badan yang tak sihat dua tiga hari ni, aku demam dan selesema.

Oh ya baru teringat yang cik N cakap nak suruh cepat sembuh kena ambik madu, so gonna get some now. Anyway in case people is wondering what the whole post is actually about, aku saja je nak cakap yang I'M BACK.

toodles ^^