Bloggers

Just to make things clear, I write not because I nak jadi famous ke apa, its my blog, its my personal public diary and its the only place where I can pour out and write endless emotional rants and whatnots. Ramai yang tanya, you ada blog tak, and I always jawab takde, tapi personal public diary adalah. Kadang-kadang rasa malu jugak bila melihatkan most of my posts are about me, me me me overload, but what to do, dah namanya personal public diary, memang haruslah setiap post dipenuhi dengan perihal tuan empunya diri, ye dok?

Anyhoo, blogger has changed its dashboard again, is getting new look katanya, and I hated it padahal baru je nengok tak sampai 1 minit. Like what I always do, I will change them back, cuma not yet sebab so malas nak betulkan balik whats changed...biarlah, later I check balik what's wrong and revert them back into the old style one, because I am far more comfortable with the old dashboard one. And who knows, I will be okay with this new look. Nantilah.

Sedang I was wondering why I haven't read load of posts from few blogs that I followed recently, I misclicked on something and my blog's statistics showed up, hence its inspired me to write with that kind of intro haha. It was so sudden, I dont know what I clicked, tapi I was quite taken aback to learn that the highest keyword people visit this blog is because of;

1) Tahi Ayam (Either its Bunga tahi Ayam or the peribahasa one, which can be seen with this post)

2) Renungan Hari Jumaat (which I think I posted that one randomly on Friday), and 

3) Suhu Musim Sejuk (which I always ramble about, since I am living in the coldest region on Earth)

Like seriously, I didn't expect ramai jugak yang mencari pasal Bunga Tahi Ayam, and so sorry if what I wrote there in that post is not "bunga" or "peribahasa"-related, more to my rants really, but you can ask me in the comments section if nak tahu more about them, insyaAllah I can help.

And omg so malu bila baca my old posts back. I didn't know I sounded so...gedik and mengada-ngada back then. Not to mention they were so berbelit-belit too, no wonder my friends always said reading my posts always made they laugh..because its so me...which means I am so gedik? Ahh? Anway thats a good thing lah isn't it when people laugh reading your post, right? 

Anyway moving on to the main topic there, sometimes its very true yang its soo good to be recognised by lots of people. Nak jugak rasa macammana perasaan orang tegur sana-sini, buat photoshoot sana sini tanpa segan silu dan masuk tv ngoh ngoh ngoh aku dah mula perasan. Tapi yang tak sukanya, to be heard and recognised by entire population (ayat hiperbola habis) you need to work your ass off so very bad, and you know lah me, so pemalas, takde masa lah nak habiskan masa berjam-jam promo blog sana-sini nak suruh diri femes. Dahlah tu aku ni pemalu orangnya, kena tegur ada blog seket dah blush so hard, yelah blog penuh dengan entries merapu sape tak malu kan?

So konklusinya aku malas malas malas, dan sekali lagi nak diingatkan ini blog yang penuh dengan stupid posts oleh aku, memang tak mungkin akan ke mana-mana, so let it be that way....im far more comfortable lyk this...

Finally to end this post, because I really loove to be such a weatherman, and memang tak sah if i did not report about the weather here...spring has finally arrived in Moscow, and that means...THE WINTER IS FINALLY FREAKIN' OVER! Yayyy! No more thick outerwear, no more muddy snow, no more kesejukan, and no more glooominess. 

And what I love the most when winter ends, its time for colours.

p/s - oh rupanya they all made the blogs personal. Selalu sangat macam tu, I am such a bad luck for all the public followerss..it's like whenever I followed this one great blog, so sudden the blog becomes personal. And I am pulak such a pemalu person, nak mintak suruh jadi invited reader, memang I malulah nak kasi emel. Nanti-nantilah.

Me In Giving Advices

I'm a good listener, but for being a good advisor, hell to the no I am not.

Buuuuut sometimes I'm not a good listener too, and it's either I am not in a good mood, I'm having such a moody roughy bad day, or maybe just because I just cant hold on anymore to hear repeated things for so many times when it's so obvious that the answer for the problem is so freaking obvious. 

Tapi you know, the main reason why I don't really like giving my two cents in the conversation is because I mostly say the truth, and people hates to know the truth. They will easily be mad and marah me for being so entah apa-apa, padahal I am just trying to help. Tapi memang betullah my bad, dah orang tu tengah sedih-sedih and need a crying shoulder so bad, aku pulak bagi nasihat yang makin menambahkan kesedihan tu, mana tak marah. Memang patut pun kena cepuk.

Anyhoo just to make things clear, I want the whole world to know how my mind works when i am in this kind of situation, which means its when i am facing some sort of problem yang menyakitkan jiwa. When I have problems, I seek the fault on myself first before starting to find others to blame. Tak kisahlah semarah mana pun I am, I will sehabis mungkin cari di mana silap diri ni dulu, the fault is on me, tak kisahlah se-immature and se-unlogical mana pun the situation was, I was (and am) trained to find the fault on myself dulu.

So bila some people have problems, I usually said its your fault lah for being this bla bla bla bla, kenapa you tak jadi like more bla bla bla, yada yada yada. I will straight kasi tahu yang salah itu datangnya dari diri dia dan bukannya dengan orang yang dia persalahkan tu, sebab memang aku macam itu. I just don't like blaming people when my ideology of thinking is CARI SALAH DIRI DULU. Lagipun I dont particularly like being at one side badmouthing on the others when I only heard it from one-sided party, its a bit unfair, kan?

Lagipun bukan ke orang yang mengalah dulu tu lagi baik? 

Tak kisahlah if the person we terasa hati tu perangai dia tersangatlah menyakitkan hati, the problem is us, us and us, cari silap diri dulu and perbetulkan diri first, then bila tak tahan then barulah I blame on the others sebab we already tried kan? Thats what I do bila aku dalam situasi macam itu. Pernah juga rasa sakit hati yang sangat-sangat tu this particular person bila gaduh-gaduh dan tak bercakap banyak hari, sebab geram, tapi once geram tu reda, its always me yang firstly mintak maaf.

So that's why some people tak suka when I give them some advices, I am just sooo negative they said, but hey, now that I have explained this to you, I hope later you understand how my mind works if I were in that kind of position, my ideology memang macam tu. Kalau you tak suka then sorry to say please carilah orang lain that you can gang-up to support you, whom is definitely not me. And my ideology implies to all who ask me for help when they are in trouble, takde masa lah nak bagi prioriti kat sape-sape.

Tapi bila I have nothing to say, (which is so rare lol), I stay silent. So kalau taknak tahu kebenaran then  don't lah ask me for advices hohoh. And one more thing, its very true, kadang-kadang I solve my own problems in logical thinking with my feelings excluded sebab you know, sampai bila nak sakit hati memanjang and let our feeling clouded our relationship? Like I said before, try to be much more understanding.

Nevertheless, no matter how bitchy my advices were, in the end pleaselah percaya yang I said that to help you, like for realzz.

Peace yo :)

Hati

Pesan Imam Ghazali,

Carilah hatimu di tiga tempat...temui hatimu sewaktu bangun membaca al-quran. Tetapi jika tidak kau temui, carilah hatimu ketika mengerjakan solat. Jika tidak kau temui juga, kau carilah hatimu ketika duduk tafakkur mengingati mati. Jika kau tidak temui juga, maka berdoalah kepada Allah, pinta hati yang baru kerana hakikatnya pada ketika itu kau tidak mempunyai hati...

Hati dahh hilang, tak tahu mana perginya, jum cari mana hilangnya hati tu jom!

Tolerance

Each one of us is annoying in our own  different way. As much as I hate A for being so loud and B for always taking such a long bath (these are just examples guys, not real pun), I just have to accept them for what they are, cuz being tolerate to others is the main keypoint to survive in community.

And trust me, I believe A and B somehow must personally dislike me too for something, like...uhmm...maybe for always singing in kitchen or bathroom or in every-friggin-where ala sharifah aini? Or maybe for always ranting silently while cleaning their mess? Or for always termenung like kak limah in kitchen? I dont know, but they must certainly have some turn off toward me kan?

But really, being tolerate to others is very important in dealing with bad attitude of others so that you wont be so moody and revengeful inside toward them. Its like what I always do when people kutuk me behind, I have this sort of weird analogy that keeps me from not being so sad; if they can kutuk me, then whatever, I can kutuk them too if I want, so no need to have such a hard feeling lah, because I knew at one point I will mengumpat too eventually whether its under my will or not.

I know its not really a great analogy, but its better than being all out and mengamuk tak tentu pasal. And yes sometimes being straightforward and brutally honest is good too, but for me I wont be doing that, unless in certain chronic circumstances which can't be undone.

But sometimes I do say something in shady-shady way, I am always being cynical, but most of the time people dont take me seriously, so haha, I dont look so kejam lah then :P

But most important thing of all besides being tolerate is sabar lah. Eh wait, sabar tu lebih kurang sama dengan tolerate lah kan?

Stress

Stressed out.

Maybe because I have topan test this upcoming wed, or simply the fact that I just hate tuesday.

But you know what stressed me out even more?

Watching those yang ada test dont stress out like I do, happily tengok movies and do usual stuffs like a boss tanpa ada sekelumit pun rasa risau. How can they do that?

And what I usually do when I am stressed?

Tidur.

Nafsu

There's huge spring sale going on right now, and there's several items that I previously eyed on when they were released are on sale. Tapi yang jadi masalahnya, duit tak masuk lagi taim-taim macam ni. Sekarang baru rasa menyesal tak simpan duit awal-awal.

Tapi sejujurnya, barang yang aku berkenan tu semuanya terlalu tacky dan mengada-ngada. Kalau difikirkan, berbelah bahagi sebenarnya nak beli benda macam gitu sebab memang soheh la yang akan kena kutuk. Jangan pikir yang bukan-bukan, I am talking pasal pakaian ni like I always do.

Kadang-kadang rasa cemburu dengan orang hensem, pakai apa pun still nampak cantik. Even pakai guni buruk pun boleh nampak high fashion, apatah lagi baju yang stailo mailo. Kesian pada yang tak berapa nak cantik, banyak sangat pantang larangnya, itu tak boleh, ini tak boleh. Ish ini sungguh ungrateful nih orang ini, tak bersyukur langsung. Tapi betulkan orang lawa pakai apa yang tak cantik pun nampak cantik kan? Its not like I am ungrateful tapi sort of stating kebenaran, walaupun semua makhluk pun cantik sebenarnya hihi.

Tapi tak kira, nak beli jugak walaupun benda tu tak sesuai. Kalau tak sesuai pun tak kisah, biarlah kena kutuk seket-seket pun, bila lagi nak kena kutuk kan? Tapi seriously, I really need new spring items in my wardrobe, selalu sangat pakai baju gelap-gelap. I deserve to nampak muda oke dengan warna yang fancy seket, sesuai dengan aku yang petite size nih (sila jangan muntah).

Speaking of sizes, berat badan aku turun rasanya sejak dua tiga menjak ni. I know I shouldnt fikir sangat pasal berat badan, i know some people hate it when people concern way too much dengan berat masing-masing, especially those who have normal body but claimed that they are gemuk and whatnots (so mengada-ngada), but theres something fishy going on when your body weight makin decreasing. Lebih-lebih lagi bila orang yang tak pernah kisah pasal badan tiba-tiba perasan yang dia makin kurus, ianya sedikit menakutkan sebenarnya. Its like i am sort of malnutrinised or having a disease or something, its worrysome lah.

Tapi entahlah, hopefully nothing wrong happened to me. Truthfully memang jadual makan tak berapa betul sebenarnya sejak akhir-akhir ni, so kalau badan tetiba nampak kurus daripada biasa tu sort of understandable lah for me. Cuma apa yang buat aku risau bila orang nampak aku macam tak sihat. Pucat dan tak bermaya, lesu dan putih (Eh, putih? LOL). Itu yang aku rasa macam ada yang tak kena tu. Kalau tak ditegur aku tak kisah pun. Lagipun aku lagi suka tengok orang yang berisi, dan aku pun lagi suka kalau aku bersisi seket, sebab senang mata memandang, like seriously.

Last but not least, still got time to think whether nak beli ke tak nak. Tapi dah promise dah hari tu yang nak reward myself for susah-susah tak tidur malam bila musim exam. Tapi jap, takdok duit macamana nak beli honey bubu oi?

Haih =_="

Sweet Dreams

OMZG This. Is. Perfection.

I can listen to this all day long.

Please please please win American Idol this year.

ps - Yes I'm a massive Queen Bey fan :)